Cracking English

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.

Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.

A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"

As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.

"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand." :D

WHY DIDN'T YOU REFUSE IT?
HE IS HAVING TANTRUMS AGAIN
A player was slightly bumped by a member of the opposing team. The player turned round and round with a pained look on his face. His mother, watching the game, laughed and said to the player's wife:
- You see, your husband is having one of his tantrums again, just the same as when he was young. I understand his temper

A DIFFICULT SITUATION TO SOLVE